Music, books, and personal thoughts on life

Welcome to the Dark Side….

We all have a dark side….

When I was younger, I was always following the rules and staying out of trouble.  I was raised in a strict religious household and basically had the fear of God instilled in me.  I’ve never been one to follow the latest trends or crowds.  I was considered a nerd in middle and high school, and no one ever knew how to take me.  It was not until 2007  when I unleashed my dark side to break away from being the nerd.  I had to keep a certain standard while I was married.  I wasn’t allowed to have any tattoos, piercings or anything else that would be considered ‘trashy’.  When I separated from my husband, I felt like I was free to do what I wanted.  I got into listening to Evanescence in the beginning of 2007 six months after my separation.  I dyed my hair black, started dressing in black clothing and started listening to heavier music.  My mom was so upset to see the change in me that she made the comment, “I’m scared you will show up with a vial of blood around your neck.”  I told her that she was over reacting and that I had no reason to wear a vial of blood around my neck.  I laughed when she said that she researched the ‘Gothic’ culture and that it was centered around death and satanic rituals.  She was taking things waaaay out of line and thought I was turning away from my upbringing.

I eventually let my hair grow back out to it’s original hair color, changed up my wardrobe and added some lighter music back into my playlists.  I don’t regret dressing the way I did or listening to the music I did.  The heavier music helped me through that time and even today still helps me cope with some things in life.

We all have our dark sides so don’t be ashamed if you have one.  We can’t be pure and innocent 100 percent of the time.  What matters most is who will stay by you when you are going through your ark side.  So if someone tells you that you can’t have your dark days, flip them off and say “I can and I will.”


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