Music, books, and personal thoughts on life

The Chronicles of An Adopted Child: Part One

I decided to write from my point of view what it is like to be adopted.  Some people may be able to relate and some may find it interesting to know what adoption is like.

When I was around 5 or 6 years old, I asked my mother the where do babies come from question.  She did not go into a bunch of details, but did her best to explain.  I asked her if I grew inside her tummy and she told me, “You didn’t grow under my heart, but you grew into it.”  She explained that God had chosen me to be with a different family than my birth parents.  She then went on to explain what adoption meant the best way she could so that I could understand it.  There were times I would look in the mirror and wondered who I looked like, thought that my bio mom was perfect in every way and so on.  I was never made to feel like I was a mistake or accident, I was accepted and adopted into a good family.  My mother told me that she would pray for my bio mom every night while she rocked me.  She knew one day that I would want to meet her.  There were some underlying medical issues that I went through as a child and my parents had no medical history on my bio parents.  It made it a bit trying for them to know if what I had was family history illnesses.  As a child it’s hard not to think about where your bio roots came from.  For years I wanted to know who did I get my height from, where did my ancestors come from, who’s eye color do I have, are my bio grandparents still alive, would my bio mom and dad ever want to meet me…. I could go on and on with the questions.  I mentioned that I thought my bio mom was perfect.  My thoughts as a child were that she had never been in trouble with the law, didn’t do drugs and was stable.  I wondered more about my bio mom than I did my bio dad when I was growing up.  I thought about how it was possible for one or both of my bio parents could be a celebrity.  Hey, it could happen, right?  When I was around 14 or 15 years old, I was looking through my adoption records and found an envelop that was taped up with what looked like packing tape; it had my name on the front of it.  At that moment, I felt like I had been betrayed because my mother told me she would not hide anything from me about my adoption.  I took the envelop and ran upstairs to open it in my room.  Right in front of me, on that piece of paper was a physical description of my bio mom and some info about my bio dad along with a little medical history.  I don’t know how many times I read that document over and over.  I eventually confronted my mother about the document and she told me she felt like I couldn’t handle reading it at that time.  She did take me back to the adoption agency so that I could find out if there was any way I could get some answers to my questions.  The lady told me that I could write letter to her and she would research my file to find the answers.  By age 18, my questions started to get more answers when I started communicating with my bio mom.  She and I had registered on a database that would match us up should one of us join it.  On my 19th birthday, I finally got to meet her along with my two half sisters.  It felt awkward at first but I slowly warmed up.  The only mom and dad I had known were my parents, but it was interesting to get to know my bio mom as well.  My question about where my ancestors was answered along with some others I had.  Things slowly started to sink in that my bio mom was not the perfect person I had imagined in my mind.  She is human like everyone else and makes mistakes.

I found out that my ancestors were coal miners in Alabama and Kentucky and that in some way I am related to a family that makes clarinet reeds.  I also found out that my ethnic background consist of Dutch, English and French hence why part of my blog has the name Dutch in it.

Part two will continue on with more experiences….

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One response

  1. Pingback: The Second Rejection As an Adoptee | I Am A Dutch Viking

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