Music, books, and personal thoughts on life

Archive for March, 2014

In The End

I have posted about working on a story for 20 years a few time on here.  A friend of mine helped me see that I needed to step back and see where things were going with my story.  Things change in 20 years as well as point of views.  I found the real main character who I had been silencing for a long time.  Her point of view is where things should have started from, but it took me a while to see that. Things are flowing much better now and it will be a story some people can relate with.

Last night, I had an idea for the ending and typed it out.  As I was doing that, I began to cry.  I could see and feel what was going on in the scene and with the characters.  Even though I will be happy to get finished and go through the process of publishing, it’s sad at the same time.  Here are these characters I have gotten to know since I was 13, who have been like my best friends, and they are going to be gone soon.  There is somewhat of a happy ending for them, but it’s going to be a depressing time for me.


Turning Point: June 6, 2011

June 6th, 2011.  I will never forget that date.  My life took a different direction when I woke up that morning.  I had been trying to handle too many stressful situations up until that point.  It seemed like the punches would not stop coming until I couldn’t hold on any longer.  I was scheduled that day to work from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. that night.  For a little over a year, I had been working as a cashier at a local supermarket.  The pay and environment wasn’t the best for me, but I needed a job, so I had to make the best of it.  My boss was someone I went to high school with and she thought I would be good as a cashier.  Customer service has never been one of my strong points, but it was the only thing open for me to do at that time.  Anyway, the boss and I were friends in high school, but we weren’t close friends.  She was more on the extroverted side, rude, a smart ass and seemed  to think everybody liked her.  I’m more on the introverted side, quiet, modest, polite and keep to myself.  How we ever got to be friends is beyond me, but they say opposites attract.  Over the period of time I worked with her, I remembered why I didn’t talk to her too much after high school.  She was an outright bully and would tell other people your personal business.  I had reached a point where I could no longer handle the hours I worked and went above her to get the okay on switching to part-time.  Long story short, she didn’t like it and started telling some of the store employees about my personal business.  One cashier asked me if it was true what the boss had told her about me.  I held back from saying anything, but I let it brew inside of me like a volcano waiting to erupt.  On June 6th, the volcano erupted.  I couldn’t handle the job any longer.  I threw books from my bookshelf  all around my room, screamed and punched the walls to get my frustration out.  I felt like I was out of control and spiraling down a dark path.  I spent almost two weeks in the hospital getting the help I needed and the start of better coping skills.  It has been almost three years since that happened.  The person I was back then is no longer around.  My past may be full of disaster, but my present and future are filled with hopes and dreams.