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Archive for May, 2015

What About The Victims of Sexual Abuse?

WARNING: POSSIBLE TRIGGERS!!

Ever since hearing about the news that a star of a popular reality show acknowledged his guilt in molesting underage girls as a teen, I have been seething inside.  It just goes to show why we should never put a human being on a pedestal.  Humans beings will always disappoint you.

As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, it sickens me that this family didn’t go directly to authorities once they found out and kept it secret.  Abuse in any form leaves a lifetime scar on those who go through it.  A neighbor my parents trusted molested me from the time I started potty training until I told my mother when I was 10.  He and his wife kept me quiet by showering me with gifts.  I have lost count how many times I have attempted suicide.  For the longest time I thought I was damaged good, that no one would be able to love me because of what happened.  Therapy over the years though has helped me see that the negative thoughts I’ve had are false.  I will always carry the scars, but they are proof I survived.

My daughter is a survivor of sexual abuse.  In 2010, she told me that a young boy who mother was friends with her then stepmother, had been locking her in a closet with him, and he made her do stuff she didn’t like.  It was so frustrating to deal with law enforcement and the Department of Children and Family services that year.  The left hand didn’t know what the right hand was doing.  A social worker never came to interview us in person and the police chief of the small town closed the case.  He said there was not enough evidence to even pursue the case.  In the summer of 2012, her now ex-stepbrother, who was 14 at the time (she was 8.), repeatedly raped her.  She was scared she would get in trouble for telling since the boy told her she would.  On December 27th, 2012, she finally broke her silence.  I told her she did the right thing, how proud of her I was, and she wasn’t in trouble.  I went on a warpath to get justice for her.

In January 2013, things were different though.  The proper chain of command took place and an emergency custody order was awarded.  The social worker assigned to my daughter’s case helped us through everything and law enforcement charged the boy for the crime he committed.

My daughter is getting the counseling she needs to help her cope with what happened.  She is happier than she was before and is learning to move past it.  The memories won’t completely fade, but she will have the coping skills to get through them.

I pray that the young girls that were victims of this reality show predator are getting the help they need and use their trauma as a testimony to help others.